I am so flustered with emotions right now. Tonight my friends lost each other. I probably had something to do with it. However,it was going to happen eventually. It's hard when the inevitable happens and you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Do you lie to this person, or do you lie to that person? Do you love this person more, or do you love that person more? Stick me in a room with both of you and tell me which one to shoot and I promise I'd choose myself. I won't let either of our personal relationships change because you're both with me forever. Climb over the mountain.
moving on...
My girlcore has been on hiatus this weekend. Car rides and long distances can make someones perspective so much more confusing. I still wonder how my life turned out to be this way. I would love to just rewind to last year when I was happy and not worried about anything. I feel like there is so many different directions I could go towards but I can't choose. Do I move away and be where I've always wanted to be? Do I stay here to watch the only love of my life (my niece) grow up without me. Selfish decisions come with consequences. I get so Influenced by others that my wants/needs get pushed aside. But at the end of the day it comes back to what my heart wants, which is to get away from this place. It's getting worn out from being put on pause so much, but I am too scared to just do it.
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