2008 was shitty
i am getting rid of this thing

this is my new one

http://scedrone.blogspot.com/

I've got you under my skin

I went to bed at 6pm last night. This weekend my sleep schedule was completely off. Going to bed at 5 am and sleeping until 8 at night cannot be an option for me. However, I did have alot of fun in those late night hours that I was awake ;].

Christmas was F A N T A S T I C. I have so much love and appreciation for my family I can hardly stand it. I am so blessed and I am also very thankful to have them as mine and no one elses.

Currently at work trying not to fall asleep, wish me luck.


all the love,
xoxox

heres to you

Cassie and I talked for hours last night. One thing about her is she doesn't bullshit around with me and try to make me feel better. She just tells it how it is. I completely love her for it. I feel that we are completely on the same page with what we are dealing with in our lives. Not necessarily a GOOD thing however, it is nice to have someone relate to what you are dealing with. I love you girl!

I woke up this morning with the chills, stuffed nose, and a sore throat. Great thing to get before the holidays and before I see my little spoon. Yea you don't know.

I hope all is well with everyone, and Merry Christmas.


xoxoxo

Dear "Nobody"

At first, your comments were flattering and appreciated. Now they are quite disturbing. Please stop.

i feel like i should go

I feel sick. I couldn't sleep last night due to many failed attempts at being positive and relaxed. If one of my friends were feeling this way I would probably just tell them to get the fuck over it and themselves. It's harder when it comes to yourself and your own feelings, though.

You would think since I have the house to myself for two weeks that I would feel awesome and independent on having my own space for a while. However, It's just made me feel lonely as fuck. Also, I hate having all the lights off because I always get up in the middle of the night to get some water, and it's scary. I'm still scared of the dark, no kidding.

end note:
I'm considering shaving my head and moving to ireland.



xoxo

"You know me, I'm impulsive"

Maybe I have unrealistic expectations thinking I deserve everything that I want. I am so stubborn and selfish sometimes that I don't think of others needs. I am sorry for being a girl whos emotions are on hiatus.


__________________________


The weather is sad today. Lets cry about it.

I hope my brain stops working.

I am second guessing myself. Probably taking things too seriously. However, it's what I do. Constantly think about fucking things up instead of going with the flow of things and just letting myself be happy. I am so goddamn paranoid all the time. Worrying about the next time I am going to get fucked over or when something in my life is going to go wrong. I hate feeling this way. I used to be so positive and never let things bother me.

I've started spending time with someone. I won't say who because it's none of anyones business. And people always talk, always have an opinion on something. Also, I don't think he wants anyone to know...maybe thats why I won't say anything. I dont know. He's really nice, makes me smile alot and is gorgeous. I am, however, taking the "Shelby Caution Steps" with him. I think he knows that. It's been a long time since I've had someone who liked me back..it feels nice. I think i am letting my paranoia get in the way, though. I just need to relax and let things happen. I mean, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason...right?

ugh, anyway

Christmas couldn't be coming on any stronger for me. Constantly carols play throughout my office, spiced apple candles lit in every room. I think the managers are trying to force relaxation on us employees. It's kind of working.

I missed writing in this thing, i will keep it up. Makes me feel alot better when i write and can say what I want without having to talk to someone and read the discontent on their face when I tell them how my life is going, thanks!

Even though there is a lot of Christmas spirit around my office, I really don't want to be working today...or ever for that matter. I would so much rather lay in bed watching movies and wrap myself up in blankets until i sleep forever. God, i love sleeping. It's the only time i get when I don't worry or care whats going on in my life.

until tomorrow..

xoxo